shhhh....

Today I heard a lot of silence. I don't usually handle silence very well because that usually means I'm alone and I'm just not a big fan of that. I was in the car today for about 5 hours...by myself, after being the car yesterday for about 5 hours...by myself. After just recently taking two road trips with friends this was somewhat difficult. After about hour 3 I was ready to let someone else drive...but there wasn't anyone. So the phone calls began. First the check in with my mom, then some voice messages, then...silence. It was kind of refreshing. I looked through my CD's and nothing seemed right (I know that is usually how most people feel after looking through my CD's, but I can always find something). So, I kept the silence.

I tend to fear silence. Today I didn't and it was nice. I don't think I require a lot of it, it's just not how I was made, but I did enjoy it today and I found it nice. A lot of me wants to now say the good Christian statement about how it turned into this amazing time of prayer and I really felt the presence of God, but that wasn't the case. I did my fair share of praying and it was nice to be alone for the first time in a long time, but I mainly just drove in silence. A lot can happen when I'm quiet. Maybe that's why it scares me. It doesn't seem to be something I crave but I didn't mind it. Maybe I'll embrace it more often. who can know.

a reacurring thought

Today I heard a class of about 20 3rd graders say, "Thank you, Emily." It might have been the cutest thing I've heard in a long time.

My mom has been substituting full time for a teacher that is on maternity leave until October. She wanted me to come meet her class and teach them some different lettering things that they could use on the project they were working on.

Now, I'm around kids a good bit. I have done and continue to do my fair share of babysitting. I've worked with youth for a while. I'm currently teaching the kindergarten class on Sunday mornings. I'm beginning to learn which age groups I'm better at than others. I used to see "kids" as a collective group and you are either good with kids or you aren't. I'm quickly learning that you can be great with a 2 year old and horrible with a 4 year old (that's me). Or you can be great with a 8th grader and not so great with a 4th grader. I can make the general statement that I love kids because I truely do. However when it comes to actually teaching them things....I think I love them once they have had a year of school and can write. That means first grade and up. I LOVE these kids. That's what I've learned.

I've tossed back and forth the idea of being a teacher. I always knew that's what I wanted to do. Always. I'm curious as to why I didn't pursue that in college. I keep saying I'll go back to school so I can teach when I pay off my loans. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Here's my question...How do you plan the future you have no control over? If there are things you know you want to do and you know God has gifted you in a way to be good at them, how long do you wait until you use those strengths and pursue those dreams? I love my job right now but I know I would love teaching as well. I know there is an element of trust. I also feel like there's an element of action on my part as well. I'm curious to see where God guides me over these next few as I continue to learn more about who He is creating me to be.

what are your passions and dreams? Are you pursing them? Are you somewhere else for the time being? I'm just curious as to others ways of handling this part of life. The real world, I guess.

christian chicken

This morning I heard the nice lady at chickfila say, "Mam, our systems are down so all we can offer you is a beverage of your choice and a chicken biscuit." Ummm...this made for quite possibly the best morning in awhile. Because of some recent moving expenses and furniture purchases money has been tight to say the least. I have done good and had not spent money on food since last Friday. For those of you who know me well, which I'm assuming if you read this blog then you probably do, know that I love to go out to eat. Meet a friend for lunch...grab dinner with gang, etc. So I've been good for about a week, I've managed to either eat dinner with the parents, cook dinner at home, and bring my lunch to work. The other night I found an old coupon for chickfila.

As I drove to work this morning, after having left on time...which is a big accomplishment for me, I started pondering getting something for breakfast. My immidiate thought was, "Em, you don't have any money." Then I remembered the coupon and how good I had been all week. I weighed the pros and cons as I neared the stoplight at Chickfila. I decided to go in. Great was my reward! I ended up getting breakfast and it was for free! I didn't have to spend any money!!!! Needless to say...it's going to be a great Thursday!

Now...I don't say all that just for you all to be jealous of my luckiness in getting free chickfila but to comend chickfila for always doing their best to please the costumer. I wrote a paper on a local chickfila store in college and in doing that read Truitt Cathy's book. It's a good read for you business folk out there. Anyway, whatever the small things are that make your days great...I wish them on you today! It's Thursday...that means tomorrow is Friday...and that's the freakin weekend baby! Be happy!!!

a true retreat

This weekend I heard the ocean. It was fantastic! 12 of us from church went on a retreat this weekend and it was truly that. None of this busiest weekend ever crap where your every minute is planned with times to eat, activities to participate in, structed games and discussions....we had no agenda. We wanted to take naps...we did it. We wanted to spend the entire day on the beach...we did it. We wanted to try our best to build a sand castle...we did it. It had been a while since I had taken a true vacation where I come back feeling fully rested. It was much needed and I am so very thankful for it. I got to meet some new folks and spend time with those I love. God is great and all His creations are beautiful works of art. I appreciate trees and the mountains but there is something about the vastness of the oceans that commands you to stand in awe and praise God for all things. He is is soverign and our God most certianly reigns. I'm ready to go back to the beach!!!


by far...the best quote of the weekend would be from my beloved roommate, "Jesus made making out...it's totally biblical."