Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Lord, deliver me from me.

Last week I heard a good friend of mine sing a song she had written based on prayer by Mother Teresa. The words were simple, convicting, and incredibly humbling. This is the link to the original prayer and below are the lyics to the song:

Lord deliver me from the desire to be noticed, loved, exalted
Lord deliver me from the desire to be favored, popular,
chosen or acknowledged
Lord deliver me from the fear of being wrong, forgotten, or ignored
Lord deliver me from the fear of being humiliated or left behind

(girls) Lord deliver me from me
(boys echo) Lord deliver me to You
Lord deliver me from me
(echo) Lord deliver me to You
Lord deliver me from me
(echo) Lord deliver me to You
Lord deliver me from me
(echo) Lord deliver me to You

Grant that I may seek to comfort rather than be comforted by others
Grant that I may understand and love more than be
understood and loved well
Lord deliver me from the desire to be noticed and encouraged
Lord deliver me from the desire to be appreciated and included

It's a hard prayer to pray but it's one I hope I have the courage to pray daily. Needless to say, camp was great and God did great things! It was a joy to be in His presence with those students.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

nothing is different, but everything's changed

Last night I heard David White tell me, "You'll be shocked to see how much has changed...and how much hasn't." The fact that David was telling me was a sure sign of how much hasn't, however the faces of the students, the addition of buildings, and the permission to bring your ipod and portable DVD player were huge signs that it has.

The Blue Horizon...I can't believe I'm going back there on Sunday...as a leader. To be honest, I can't believe it's still there...and the same for the most part - with the exception of few new buildings. When I agreed to help out with camp this summer it may have been partly because of how significant this location is to my life and who I am today. Some of my most vivid memories of God teaching me, molding me, and walking right beside are from moments at camp at the Blue Horizon. It's where I met and became what has turned into life long friends with many of you who are reading this blog. Of course I said yes to going back, who wouldn't want to watch a whole new generation of students make these same amazing memories.

This new generation though...they make me feel so old. I realize (especially for those of you who are older than me) that I am not that old. But these students, I don't know what it is. I guess just a sign of "the times." And thanks to things like cell phones, the Internet, and limited too, which we did not have when I was growing up, has allowed youth to grow up just a bit faster in some areas. Though I'm not too far removed from that stage in life I feel as though their lives are vastly different from mine at that age and its a bit hard to relate to.

So much seems as though it has changed. Then I see my name on the list as one of the boundary people for the "night walks" on the beach...oh, how none of it has changed...I'll be ready with my flashlight.

All this to say...it should be interesting week. It will be very strange to be there with all new people instead of most of you. I hope they realize what a treasure this place is. I hope they turn off their cell phones long enough to catch a glimpse of what the Lord is trying to show them. I hope I turn mine off long enough to do the same. If you think about it, pray for us this week!

Monday, July 07, 2008

an unfamiliar voice

It's always so wierd for me to hear myself on a video, or someone's voicemail, or my own voicemail message. In my head, I don't sound like what I hear on those things...and I like the voice I think I have better.

Yesterday, however, I heard myself. It was bizarre.

I'm doing a bible study where the author asks for you read scripture out loud for the "during the week homework" part of the study. Sometimes I skip over things like that when I know it's just me and I really don't think it will make that much of a difference. I didn't skip it. I read it out loud, and it was so much more powerful. It could have been more insightful because I was excpecting to feel akward or weird. Instead I felt convicted, humbled, and instantly aware of my "self."

In the passage I was reading was the following scripture. I encourage you to read it aloud and to hear yourself, and to hear the Spirit speak through you...to you.

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galations 1:10