and knowing is half the battle

Today I heard my alarm go off and it seemed louder than normal. I tend to make poor choices when it comes to my sleeping habits so the 4 hours of sleep I had gotten by the time the alarm went off did not seem like enough. You would think eventually I would learn that my body does require sleep and I should give it what it requires. I tend to ignore that...repeatidly, but appreantly that's just who I am. I need people and sometimes that means not getting sleep.

It came as no surprise to me last night when I took a personality test and it told me how much I need to be around people and in groups and how much I depend on my friends, etc. These are things I know full well. There were a few of us taking this test and reading all that we could find about our strengths, weaknesses, how we work in relationships, what we will be like as parents. Why are we all so fascinated with these things? It didn't tell me anything I didn't already know about myself. I like business, I like to be in charge, plan things, I'm trustworthy, dependable...and then came the harsh ones...anal, stiff, feels like they are always right. It was interesting to see how we were each different, but how were each necessary.

As I was driving home I wondered how much of who I am is my responsibility. Once you reach this age of awareness about yourself and you've spent enough time in counseling and analyzing life with friends that you know your querks and what makes you tick and who you clash with, how much of who you are do you sit back and accept and how much do you take on the responsibility to change? Like, if you know these are weakenesses wouldn't you want to try and work on those? Or do we just like to use those as excuses.

I know that I will continue to change a bit as life happens and Christ molds me into being more like Him, but I'm happy to say that I kind of like who I am. Granted there are weaknesses and there are traits that others have that I wish were mine, but I'm learning to accept me. If we were all alike than life would be no fun. I think it's important to know yourself, I think it's also important to know you will change.

One of the most fascinating papers I wrote in college was my senior year for an entrepreneurship class. It was this giant self-assesment that was pages and pages about myself, my core values, and my dreams. There was one part where we had to get an outside opinion. The assignment was to ask 4 friends to tell you something about yourself that you didn't know. The things people said to me I still find to be on the forefront of my mind. They had a great impact in my life. If your friends are willing I encourage to do the same...see what you find out, it could be interesting!